A Rat

Last night I got into bed and heard the footsteps of what I took to be a heavy-footed mouse -- very heavy-footed -- in fact at first I took it to be our long-dead cat Popescu -- and if I were a rational creature I should have bolted from my bed and gotten a flashlight and a broom and started heaving boxes around (because the archives are in my bedroom too) -- but I have unparalled powers of wishful thinking and I managed to convince myself it was a mouse, albeit one that had eaten rather heavily (not surprising in our house where generations of mice have socked away dry cat food from the bowl of our cat, long senile before he died). And after I had fallen asleep I was awoken by groans and murmurs that suggested either some mammal was in the throes of amourous embrace or else giving birth -- but as I say -- wishful thinking -- it must have been a mouse.

But today I returned from work and saw the unmistable hindquarters of a large brown furry creature disappear under Isabella's computer table. Perhaps -- an opossum? What to do? Isabella is at her life drawing class -- no help there. I called the brother and asked about the Live Animal Trap. The brother said it would very likely be among our father's effects, in my mother's garage or basement. But he didn't volunteer to take care of the mammal problem himself. Damn. So I called the sister-in-law -- phone busy -- answering machine -- teenage nephew very likely on the phone. I left a message on the machine and waited. From under the computer desk, low whimpering. Not possibly a rat! Rats don't whimper! They squeak! Could it be that species of friendly South American desert mammal that had infested Globe Studios? These creatures know no natural enemy and are extremely friendly. Oh please, let it be!

No response from the sister-in-law, so I walked over to their house. They are very outdoorsy people -- the niece and nephew do wolf calls and my sister-in-law can listen and say "No, that's not right, it's winter." They will know what to do. We consulted. The whimpering very possibly indicated a juvenile animal of some kind -- maybe a young racoon? A guinea pig? ( I suppressed the image of its tail.) The sister-in-law made me supper while the niece gave me a detailed synopsis of a young adult novel about fugitive Jews in Vichy France. Meanwhile the brother-in-law collected various fish nets. We dropped in on my mom to pick up the Live Animal Trap.

And I was still looking for a flashlight when the brother-in-law poked under the computer table with a fish net and said "It's a rat" in his phlegmatic voice and adroitly scooped it up while I not quite gagged. He took it outside and dumped it down a drain. An odd thing to do but I suppose it was fitting.

So I am finishing a bottle of wine here trying to get over my scunner at the idea of a rat in the house. It's almost done.